Meet Your Inner System: Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Part of me wants to change, but another part of me is scared”? Or maybe you’ve noticed that you respond to stress in ways that feel familiar but confusing—like shutting down emotionally, becoming overly critical, or avoiding things that matter to you.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a powerful and compassionate framework for understanding these inner dynamics. At Waterloo Therapy Group, many of our clinicians use IFS to help clients make sense of their inner world and begin healing from the inside out.

What Is Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS)?

IFS is a type of therapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz that’s based on a simple but profound idea: we all contain multiple “parts” within us, each with its own perspective, feelings, and role. These parts are not signs of pathology—they’re natural and universal.

According to IFS, our psyche is made up of three main types of parts:

• Exiles are parts of us that hold pain, shame, fear, or trauma. They’re often pushed away or buried deep because their feelings can be overwhelming.

• Managers are proactive parts that try to keep us safe and in control. They might show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, or hypervigilance.

• Firefighters are reactive parts that try to extinguish emotional pain, often through impulsive or numbing behaviors like substance use, overeating, or avoidance.

At the core of each person is what IFS calls the Self—a calm, curious, and compassionate presence that isn’t a “part,” but rather your true essence. The goal of IFS therapy is to help you access your Self and build trusting relationships with your parts.

IFS and Trauma Healing

IFS is especially powerful for healing trauma, because it allows us to approach painful memories and emotions with gentleness and respect. Rather than revisiting traumatic events head-on, IFS helps clients connect with the parts that carry the wounds and offer them care from a grounded, centered place.

At Waterloo Therapy Group’s trauma therapy page, you can learn more about how we support clients dealing with trauma, whether from childhood experiences, relationships, or unexpected life events.

EMDR and IFS: A Holistic Approach

In addition to IFS, many of our therapists are trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), another evidence-based treatment for trauma. While IFS focuses on understanding and healing your inner system, EMDR helps the brain process traumatic memories and reduce their emotional charge.

These two approaches can complement each other beautifully—IFS creates the internal safety and clarity needed to engage with difficult experiences, while EMDR offers a structured way to process and integrate them. Together, they support deep, lasting healing.

What to Expect in Session

In an IFS-informed session, your therapist might ask questions like:

• “Can we get curious about the part of you that’s feeling anxious right now?”

• “How does this part want to help you?”

• “What does it need from you or from us today?”

You’ll be guided to connect with your inner system—not to analyze it, but to listen to it. Sometimes that involves imagery, dialoguing with parts, or simply noticing physical sensations and emotions with openness. Over time, many people report feeling more grounded, less conflicted internally, and more able to make intentional choices.

IFS for Individuals, Couples, and Families

While IFS was originally developed for individual therapy, its principles can be incredibly helpful in couples and family work, too. At Waterloo Therapy Group, we often use IFS alongside other modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to support clients in building more authentic, connected relationships—with themselves and with others.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re at war with yourself, or if you’re longing for a gentler way to heal and grow, IFS might be a great fit for you.

Curious about IFS or ready to start therapy?

Our team is here to support you with warmth, skill, and respect for your unique story.

Learn more about trauma therapy →